A Yankee's Musing

Friday, May 20, 2005

And there is life...

I am up north in my mountains. I will travel from here to NYC for my chemo. It is worth it. Life has a way of putting things into perspective here. A bear, a yearling, climbing a white birch, oversized paws, claws dug in, tongue stretching to scoop up millet seed in my new metal bird feeder. Such patience. Life is simple for this baby bear, or perhaps not. Find food, gorge, explore, stay alive. After the seed is spent, baby bear curls up like a puppy under the white pine. The placement for this little nap is between me and my outhouse. Guess I'll go slow on my coffee consumption for a while.

What is this baby bear doing here alone. They don't go out on their own until two. No way is this little creature two. No mother in sight. I wait. No mother still. Has she been killed? Run over? This little bear is looking for company and now has found it. Oh, oh. It responds to my voice. I bet if I held out food in my hand, the creature would come and take it. So tempting, but deadly for this bear. It should fear me. It's enemies are all two-legged creature. I am a two legged creature, despite my distain for many others of my kind.

My neighbors come, drive down the dirt road, back up, stop. The baby bear runs. I say, "Come back baby bear." It stops, and returns. Oh shit. It does trust me. I have already skewed its sense of danger. My neighbors and I watch the baby climbing trees. And we appreciate it. His/her presense is a gift. the "gift' stays in my backyard for 4 and a half hours. I really have to pee! Finally I can't wait, say, "Look out bear, here I come." Baby bear moves out of the way, just barely, as I make it to my outhouse. It is not there when I come out. Smart bear afterall.

Day two, I don't put out seed for my ravens or the other birds. They are pissed, but I want baby bear discouraged. Day three, I start out for my outhouse, and there is baby bear on my back step. Hello, there. It hangs around, but it is doing something much more bear-like, it is digging for grubs and insects in my leaf piles. Good.

Day three, baby bear returns. Several different neighbors stop to watch. Baby bear gets frightened and literally runs all the way up a 60 foot white pine. We are all frightened he/she will fall out. How stupid can we be. This is bear behavior, bear skill, even for little ones. Baby bear falls asleep at least 60 feet above out heads. Amazing. The branch doesn't look like it would hold me, but for this bear, it is a chaise lounge.

Such is life right now for me. I'm in my element and in awe of the vibrant life around me. This is a healing place. Always has been for me. This is where I was conceived, and this is where my ashes will be strewn to feed new growth someday. Meanwhile, I am home where life and death are natural concepts and not so formiable. Ask baby bear, time to eat, sleep, explore, and be grateful for every single moment.