A Yankee's Musing

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Thanksgiving Day

Hey, I'm thankful for many things and I reflect on them regularly. A holiday, this holiday, gets to me. Maybe it's my Indian blood, or as my grandmother called it, my "heathen blood." Every time I did something wrong, it was my heathen blood. I am thankful for my heathen blood. I am not too thrilled with actually celebrating the historical thanksgiving day because it ended up to be a complete betrayal by the whites who were so very grateful for the friendship and food,that they proceeded to try to eradicate their benefactors. And for all intents and purposes, they pretty well succeeded and in the process left a lot of half breeds littering the countryside. I thank god for this particular litter since it has affected me personally.

Anyway, I do like to eat on Thanksgiving Day, and I also like to work the Macy's parade. The kids are so excited, and the balloons are spectacular up close and personal. Very different than on TV. And I love the turkey and all the fixings, especially when shared with good friends. But I enjoyed neither of these pleasures in 2004 due to an untimely chemo. treatment that has left me on this less than auspicous day trying to sleep and trying to get my appetite in order, neither of which I've succeeded with so far. But tomorrow will be better. Someday I'll share my serio-comical foray into the world of chemotheraphy, but not today. Today I speak of being thankful to be here, and hopeful that I'll remember that every moment is to be cherished. This is one of the few days I have to remind myself of that.

Below is a poem by Dana Tiger called "Gathering Strength" that I think is something special to share today.

"A being endures,
thoughout life, both
painful hardships and
soaring triumphs.
Lessons are inherent in
each of these experi-
ences if we will only
listen. These lessons
make growth attainable
by remaining fully
conscious of the gift
being given. We hold a
responsibility to our-
selves and the world to
seek out these teach-
ings and act on them.
We must breathe
deeply, trust ourselves
unashamedly and
gather strength from
individual journeys to
become whole."
Dana Tiger

This may sound corny, but if you really think about it and let the feeling seep into your more cynical cravases, you know this is a damn hard thing to do.But then, as a born Yankee living up country, hard is the only thing I knew. Hey, here in the flatlands is no picnic either. So these experiences have got to be good for something, right? Actually, all kidding aside, I have this poem on my wall with one of Dana Tiger's drawings because it is humbling and true. At least, for me. Happy Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

This isn't easy.

This isn't as easy as it looks, creating this blog. I am on my third try. The Taurus part of me took over. Even though I accidentally started this process, it was half-hearted at best. But now...well, by God, I'm going to get this sucker no matter how long it takes.

You see, I am an fan of The Empire of Dirt blog. Well, truth be told, I know the Emperor and he is a good friend. Sometimes I vehemently disagree with his postings. Other times I chuckle in recognition---yeah, good point, my intellectual friend. Always I admire his thoroughness in research, passion in his entres, and stick-to-it-ness as he discovers the many facets of who he is as he writes. He's a poet. And he's a real thinker. He's a good person who really doesn't fit in one of humanities many narrow-minded categories. That's what I love about him. So I confronted him, although reluctantly I admit, that one of his latest postings was mostly a ranting. What I meant was, it was beneath him and smacked of him exhibiting the very behaviors he was ranting against. He responded---very openly, very bravely, and showed more of who he is by thinking out a response. I feel blessed to have this friend. His readers should be more selective in their responses to him. He is more than what he seems. Aren't we all? That may be what's intrinsicly important about having a blog and reading others. Discovery of what we might have to say, and moreover, what we may not be saying aloud.

So hello folks. Here it is. My blog. The only expectations I offer myself and you are: I will be honest; I will speak to what I feel at this moment in time; I more than likely will change, rearrange, and maybe even refine what I say as more moments pass, as well as, I hope, response come; I will not be academic or get into any language usage that contains more than three syllables; and I just may be interesting if I let myself go on the page here.