A Yankee's Musing

Thursday, October 20, 2005

"Let's Never Give Up on Each Other"

"Women Rock: Our Journey with Melissa Etheridge"
on Lifetime a life line late 11:00 pm Oct. 18th Tuesday
didn't know it was going to be on
didn't find it on purpose guess it found me
on the night following the day of resuming chemotherapy
as I curled up on my sofa in the company of two cats
who constantly remind me I am still alive despite the chemo-haze
that consumes me batters me suffocates any sense of time.

I hear snatches of lyrics of testimonies of conversation
I struggle to focus to attend if only I had the energy
to pop in a tape to record this for later later when I can hear
but I can't quite get there my mind and body are at odds
so I fumble for a pen a pad and scribble words any words that
get through that I can recall beyond two seconds.

Today two days later I read my scribbles the fragments
that survived the chemo-haze somehow pieces of lyrics
of testimonies of conversation without their authors
without their names to thank to cite properly to give recognition
the voices of women who have had do have may someday have
cancer yes cancer just say it now cancer.

Here are the relics that remain shuffled reshuffled to form this:

To all the women who are fighting this good fight
Let's never give up on each other
It don't come easy
I will never be the same
I run for life
I have hope
If you ask her why she is still running
she'll tell you it makes her feel complete
I wonder if we're ever going to get home
Sometimes you wonder
if you're walking in the wrong direction
The darkness has taken its toll
I'll show you, baby, a woman can be tough
I want to see how lucky, lucky can be
I want to drive to the edge and into the sea
It's only love we're looking for
At the end of the chemo. my son said to me
you get a gift, you look more like yourself
And I promise you
there will be a gift at the end of this journey
I'm here to tell you someday comes
If the darkness knocks on your door
remember me, remember me
Let's never give up on each other
We'll be running for you.

Amen, Melissa and other women. I thank you for penetrating my chemo-haze.